Writings….Writings…..

I just wanted to put on here, more for my own record than anything, that I feel something big stirring. I have no idea what it will be. All I know is that the last time I got this feeling, I ended up in Pensacola, Florida. Time to pray hard and be obedient!

So I didn’t really have anything to blog about today, but I really didn’t want to get in the habit of not blogging, so I just started thinking about my life. I can honestly say that I have never been in a better place than where I am today. I don’t mean my physical location, although the beautiful sunshine outside today is not bad! I mean emotionally and spiritually. I can tell you now that it has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances, and everything to do with the love of Christ. I have never had more debt or less money than I do now. Circumstances. I have never been away from my family or had less friends that I do now. Circumstances. But I have never been closer in my relationship with my husband or family. The love of Christ. I have never been more excited about the little things in life and thankful for everything. The love of Christ.

What I have learned is that it is way better when I am able to trust in the love of Christ instead of trusting that my circumstances are going to be beneficial. No matter what the circumstance, Jesus’ love remains the same. I am not confessing anything or saying this will happen but it comes down to this. Every single person I know and love could pass away. My home and everything I own could get blown away in a hurrican or other natural disaster. I could become deathly ill. All of my circumstances could be horrible and Jesus’ love would still remain. Wow. That blows me away, and you know why it blows me away? Because I believe it 100%.

God is God in the good times and in the bad. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. It really is that simple.  Wow.

Ok, so another area in my life I am looking to improve this year is my ability to cook. I know that I can cook and follow recipes, because I have done it before, but this year I really want to buckle down and try a lot of new things and maybe even come up with something of my own. Any of you that have ever eaten anything my mom has cooked are probably thinking that I should have learned from her. Well, in some ways I have, like I have cooking common sense, but I haven’t really put it to practice like I should.

So, to keep track of all my cooking endeavors, I started a blog. I am sure no one will really keep up with it, but I will post the recipes I try and whether they were a success or a failure. So if you happen to be interested in checking it out, you can visit :

www.foodbeginnings.wordpress.com

Enjoy!

So one part of my life I am trying to improve this year is the area of finances. Ugh. Just the word finances can make me cringe. It is funny because I am very good at coming up with well planned budgets, as detailed as I want to make them, and, on paper, they are perfect. The problem comes when I refuse to follow the budget. This is not a conscious effort. I don’t think I wake up every morning and say to myself, “well self, I think today I will get up, drop the kids off at daycare, blow 7 dollars on breakfast even though there are plenty of groceries in my house, stop by Walgreens just to browse and then end up buying ten different things because “they were only a dollar!” and then go to work. Next I think I will stop and spend money on coffee that I should be saving for other things and then head home to convince Trav that there is absolutely nothing to eat in the house, again, when there are plenty of groceries at home, and then go spend 25 dollars on dinner.” I know you think I am exaggerating but that is exactly how my natural tendencies take me every single day.

So, with a great budget written out, I share it with Trav, who agrees that this budget will work. And then I do the unthinkable. I take my wallet and strip myself of any cash, credit, or debit cards and put them in a jar in the kitchen. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! You mean I won’t have the option to spend money at any time. CORRECT! You see, I finally came to the conclusion that if I don’t have any way of spending money, I won’t spend money! Who would have thought? And since I totally accept all responsibility for being the spender in the family, I think this is the best strategy and budget I have ever come up with.

Travis, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of me. Every once in a while, I will give Travis money to go get something and tell him to just hold onto the change and do what he wants with it. The strangest thing happens next. A couple weeks later, while doing laundry, I remove Trav’s wallet from his jeans and to my surprise…… that change I told him to hold onto is STILL THERE! I asked him if he knew that he had that money and he did. At this point I am completely baffled because I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life when I had cash that was mine for the spending and I thought to myself, “hmmm…. why don’t I just hang onto this…” NO! I completely define the phrase about money burning a hole in your pocket. Mine not only burns a hole in my pocket but sets my entire being on fire until I can rush to the store and buy something random. Again, you think I am exaggerating, but sadly, I am not.

So…… to finish up this random money blog,  I am super excited to see what happens in the Hill house finances when the ability to spend is stripped from the spender (me) and is actually only used for necessities and (GASP) money is put in savings. I think this is going to be a really good thing.

Ok, so I was thinking about this the other day and decided to blog about it. I don’t know if it is something that just affects me, or if this is fairly common. I think it is probably common

Whenever I watch a movie, it seems like I immediately want to try to do whatever that character is doing. I watch a movie about ice skating, and all of a sudden I realize that my life long dream is, in fact, to become the world’s best ice skater! Wait…. then I watch Step Up 2 and all of a sudden I am certain that I could do the whole dance scene. Well, this is definitely not the case if you have ever seen me dance, but you get the point. So, I am now under the influence of Julia. After watching Julie and Julia a a while back, I realized something; I need to cook more. I love to cook, and am actually not bad, I have just never consistently cooked. Sure, I will make an amazing meal every couple months, but then it is back to frozen pizzas and grilled cheese sandwiches.

So over the past week or so, I have decided that this year will be my year to dive into those cookbooks and recipes and really start cooking more often. So far, I have done really well. I have tried 3 new meal ideas in about a week. That has to be some kind of record for me. Travis loves that I am cooking more, because it means he gets to eat all the new stuff. Let’s see how he feels when I fail. I will keep you updated.

Well, I just wanted to share my new obsession. If you have any awesome recipes, be sure and share them!

Yes, I know, it has been more than  a little while since my last post. I think it was a good break, but I am ready to return. It is a new year, and what is the first thing you think of when you think of a new year? I think of new beginnings. Not just new years resolutions that, let’s face it, we almost always break within the first month, if not week, but new everything. I love new beginnings. One of my favorite things about God is that He is always willing to give us that new beginning. So, this year, my motto is “new year….. new everything.” This doesn’t mean that I am going to get rid of everything I have known in trade for something else. I simply mean I am going to do what I do, only better. I want every aspect of my life to improve so that when 2011 comes, I will look back and see how far I have come. Making this decision makes me realize I am going to be doing a lot of praying because, simply put, I cannot do anything good on my own. This is not a poor, pitiful me comment, I am simply recognizing that everything good comes from God. Well, now that I have put it on my blog, where approximately 2.4 people might read it, I will have to hold myself accountable. So, long story short, this year is about me being me, only better.

Now that I got that out, here is a little of  what has been going on in my life….. since we all know how good I am at keeping in touch, I thought it would be easier to do a bullet point blog so that those who are wondering can just read it. Enjoy.

- Travis and I are loving every minute of living in Florida and being a part of the Harbor. It is hard to believe we have been here a little over a year already. I have to say that 2009 definitely flew right on by.

- God is continuing to show His faithfulness and love to me more and more clearly every single day. He never ceases to amaze me. You would think I would just stop worrying and constantly be grateful because I can honestly say, in the past year, there has never been a time when God has not come through for us at the EXACT moment we needed Him. Not a second early, and not a second late. Even if sometimes I would love to have some breathing room, it is exactly as He said it would be.

- Travis and I have been licensed foster parents for a little over 4 months and have had 9 children come through our home. As you know, we can’t elaborate on any details, but all you need to know is that I am thankful for every single second of everyday that God is using us to care for these beautiful children. Yes, it is tiring and yes, there are so many moments when you feel absolutely confused, scared, unsure, and just downright frustrated, but every second of it is worth it, because all the other moments are breathtaking. God has shown us so much through the precious lives of these children. I could go on about this forever, but just know that we are loving it and are honored to take care of God’s children.

- I am still working as a nanny for an amazing family here in Pensacola. I love the 2 children that I care for. They are about to turn 2 years and 4 years. I have to say this is one of the greatest jobs ever. I get to play and teach and laugh basically all day long. My job is also perfect for us since we do foster care and sometimes it is hard to get childcare started so I am often able to bring my kids to work with me. It is a huge blessing.

- Travis is still working at a youth shelter and is loving it as well. He is able to sow so much into the lives of these children. I am so proud of him.

- There could potentially be about a thousand of these bullet points, so I will just stop here. If you want to know something, simply ask

Well, I would like to say that you can expect many more posts soon, but I am not making any promises

Dear Family and Friends,

As most of you know, Travis and I have started one of the most exciting adventures of our lives. We have recently become licensed foster parents. I know a lot of you are so excited and have been very supportive. I really needed to make a few things clear so that there is no confusion in the future.

Being a foster parent is an amazing thing. We are excited to get started. This being said, there are a lot of stipulations that come right along with being a foster parent. Confidentiality is of the utmost importance. This may seem like a given to some people, but I felt I should elaborate on what this means.

From this point on, you will not see any twitters, blogs, facebook updates, etc about foster parenting. The reason for this is the children we will be caring for need to be protected. What this means for you as our family and friends is that we absolutely need you to understand that if we make a comment about a child, which we will not be doing often, but you need to treat it as though we were talking about our own children, because that is what they are while they are in our care. This means no questions like, “oh how sweet, is this your foster child?” or “How are you liking being a foster parent?” If you have questions about the well being of our family, please feel free to call me and we will be more than happy to catch up.

Basically, the fact that we have foster children is confidential. The fact that some of the children in our care may be foster children is confidential. Pretty much, everything involving the word “foster” is confidential. We could lose our license if any of that confidentiality is breached. Thank you for understanding and if you have any questions, you can email me @ mandyhill419@gmail.com.

Love,

Mandy

I know, not the catchiest title, but it works. It has been a while since I have blogged (big surprise there).  So… the easiest way for me to go about this is in my favorite format….. use a list! So, here we go!

- God is continuously blowing my mind. Big things, small things (some as big as your head….) Seriously, I am learning more and more to appreciate the small things, but at the same time, I am seeing some of the most amazing, extravagant things ever.

- Travis and I are just a few weeks away from being licensed foster parents.  We have completed our end of the bargain… now we wait on the state to approve everything. We are totally excited about it all. Here are some pics of our nursery….all that is missing now is the children.

Here is the view when you walk in the door

Here is our adorable little toddler bed (bedding courtesy of blessings!)

Here is the other side of the room

-Trav and I are both in amazement of the wonderful jobs we have been blessed with. Honestly, nothing against any of the other jobs I have had, but this is definitely the best job I have ever had. I am a nanny to two beautiful children. The parents are wonderful people. Every bit of my job is like it was designed just for what I would enjoy and what would work perfectly for what we are wanting to do. Thank you God for caring so much that You plan out even the little details with special touches of love.

-Give Love. Give Bikes is coming up fast and I can’t even begin to explain the miracles that are already taking place, I am so excited to see what God is going to do next.

-All in all, it comes down to this. I have never had less money. I have never had less friends. I have never been more thankful for everything I have. I have never been more at peace, or more full of joy. Obedience is a beautiful thing. God truly does want to give us the desires of our hearts!

I think that is all for now, I will try and blog more regularly for those three people that still read this

Over the past few weeks, I have really felt God turning around my ways of thinking and ways of feeling. Just when I think I have been stretched farther than I ever have before, the stretching starts again, only this time with much more intensity. I have always been a very soft-hearted person. Whether it was having pity on some baby animal I found in my yard, or crying with a friend going through a tough situation. I truly believe that I feel things a little deeper than most people, and I believe God gave me this as a gift so that I can have compassion and help people. I learned at a very young age that I have to guard my heart to protect the tenderness God has placed inside of me. This meant not watching movies with too much intensity, or movies that are incredibly sad, just to be sad. Because when I am watching something, I am living it. We have all heard the song “Oh be careful little eyes what you see, for the father up above is looking down in love….” But not until I realized that I am not being careful because God is watching for me to do something bad for me to be ashamed about, but that God is trying to protect me from things did I realize that everything I see passes through my eyes and makes a bee line for my heart.

God dropped something into me the other day as I found myself, yet again, sobbing during a movie. I was watching Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns, and there was a single mom breaking down because she is unable to provide food for her children, and talking about how many times she went to bed hungry because there just wasn’t enough. I found myself feeling more sorrow in my heart than I have felt in a long time. The same feeling happened a few days later as I was watching Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail, (and yes, I love Tyler Perry Movies) The story follows a young prostitute who finds hope with the help of a woman minister who comes around handing out condoms and clean needles to all the prostitutes and crack addicts on the street. I had to pause the movie a few times because of the heaviness in my heart. I asked God why I was feeling such heavy sorrows. I have always been tender-hearted, but this was a totally new level of hurt I was experiencing. God then revealed something to me. He said, “This is the difference between tenderness and brokenness.”

This floored me. I was broken, truly broken. Not for the characters of the movies, but for the people of this world. The real single mothers who have to bear the burden of providing for their families. For the mothers who go to bed hungry when there isn’t enough food. For the young girls who become prostitutes because of molestation, abuse, hurt, etc. For the children born from this prostitution, and for every child who has to live in fear every day of their lives. Whether it is fear of an abusive family member, or fear of not having enough to eat, a roof, a mom or dad to say I love you. I was broken for every human being who is missing out on the amazing love of a Father.

To have tenderness, or to be soft hearted, is sometimes nothing more than feeling sorry for someone and moving on. For something broken, something has to be done to fix it. If you break your leg, you don’t think “wow, this hurts a lot.” and then just go on with your life. No, you fix it. If we are to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus, this means we actually have to use our hands and feet and do something about the people who are hurting. You might have to actually touch that homeless person on the street. You might have to hug that child who has aids. You might have to work hard for absolutely no recognition.

To be broken by the things that break God’s heart is my desire. I don’t want to waste my emotions on sad movies, songs, news, etc.  I want to leave room in my heart for God to move me with compassion for the right things. If I am consumed by pointless emotions, I won’t see those opportunities.  I don’t want to be tender, I want to be broken.